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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Things that Clemson & Carolina Fans Should Never Say: 2013-14 Edition

Last year, I hacked out an article about the ridiculous things that Clemson-South Carolina fans say to one another. It was an easy one to write, because no one does ridiculous quite like the fans in the state of South Carolina.

As I scanned the Facebook page following this year's game and into the bowl season, it seemed there would be plenty of material for another article. But judging from the kind of things that fans, who were apparently friends at some point, said to one another, I decided to let the vitriol fade a little.

Well, it hasn't. The talk is still strong and the insanity reigns. In what promises to be an annual event, here is your 2013-14 edition of the evidence that both fan bases need to get the tint out of their glasses. Here are some things that Gamecock and Tiger fans need to stop saying. Now.

1.  We killed y'all in the stats! Really? That's where you're going? It stunned me that some Clemson fans were actually saying this after the latest South Carolina victory.

You know who talks about their team's great stats? The fans of the team that lost.

2.  5. Okay, Gamecock falls, fold up your five little digits and put your hand back in your pocket. Yes, you've won five in a row, but let's keep a little perspective in mind, shall we? Clemson has streaks of three or more wins 11 times in this series, including a series record of 7 straight (which included 6 by double digits and 4 shutouts). You trail in the overall series by 23 games (65-42-4).

You're not dominating the rivalry, because you just now made it a rivalry.

3. 65-42-4. Yes, yes, Clemson has dominated this "rivalry" for decades. You are miles ahead in the win total.

But sorry, it's a what-have-you-done-for-me-lately world, an instant gratification society. Twitter isn't interested in the winning streak of 1934-40. You've had your fanny delivered to you five straight years by more than double-digits.

And until that changes, Gamecock fans will have reason to crow.

4. We're the state champions! what?

It's nice to be able to "stick it" to your rivals; but you know what you and the Head Ball Coach really want. You want--you need--that SEC title to validate all that you've accomplished since the HBC arrived. And you know that's what HE really wants to solidify that oh-so-annoying legacy. Well, annoying to half the state of South Carolina and the entire SEC, anyway.

After all, neither one of you even won your CONFERENCE in 2013...

5. We're the first team in the state to win a BCS game! Well, congratulations! You won a game in a horribly flawed (if not corrupt) system that is officially--and mercifully--headed to the trash heap. And as arrogant and annoying as it is, Gamecock fans are correct:  You are getting these chances because you're in the ACC, not the SEC. And because Duke can't muster enough fans to fill up the Orange Bowl.

You won the Orange Bowl against Ohio State and a coach that is almost as arrogant and annoying, if not as chatty, as Steve Spurrier. (And Urban "the II" Meyer has physically threatened a reporter...not sure if he got him "reassigned"). That's more than good enough.

6. ___________________ has no class! This one is just too easy.

You know that Spurrier doesn't coach anymore, don't you? He just sits in his office thinking up ways to jab Dabo and the Clemson fan base.

And then he calls up Dabo, who we know is not really coaching, and tells him what he's going to say. That gives Dabo just enough time to come up with a comeback. Or at least enough time to find someone who can think up a good comeback.

The problem is that we, as fans, take this all too seriously. And we get mad and re-tweet and paste it all over Facebook to express our outrage.

Maybe "classy" is not the right term for this situation...

There is absolutely nothing more boring to listen to than coaches talking before, during or after a football game. We scream for honesty; then, when we get it in the form of some cheap shots between coaches, we get mad and accuse coaches of having "No Class!!!"

People, this is great. We are blessed to have coaches who will at least say something interesting, sprinkled with at least a hint of what they truly think. And both coaches know exactly what they're doing when they say it.

All it does is work the fans into a frenzy, and both of these coaches are working it for all it's worth. Stop letting it drive you crazy and learn to revel in it.

Actually, forget that last statement. Keep it up, Gamecock and Tiger fanatics. It ensures that I'll have at least one entertaining blog to start each new year.

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