Things that Clemson & Carolina Fans Should Never Say: 2013-14 Edition

Last year, I hacked out an article about the ridiculous things that Clemson-South Carolina fans say to one another. It was an easy one to write, because no one does ridiculous quite like the fans in the state of South Carolina.

As I scanned the Facebook page following this year's game and into the bowl season, it seemed there would be plenty of material for another article. But judging from the kind of things that fans, who were apparently friends at some point, said to one another, I decided to let the vitriol fade a little.

Well, it hasn't. The talk is still strong and the insanity reigns. In what promises to be an annual event, here is your 2013-14 edition of the evidence that both fan bases need to get the tint out of their glasses. Here are some things that Gamecock and Tiger fans need to stop saying. Now.


1.  We killed y'all in the stats! Really? That's where you're going? It stunned me that some Clemson fans were actually saying this after the latest South Carolina victory.

You know who talks about their team's great stats? The fans of the team that lost.


2.  5. Okay, Gamecock falls, fold up your five little digits and put your hand back in your pocket. Yes, you've won five in a row, but let's keep a little perspective in mind, shall we? Clemson has streaks of three or more wins 11 times in this series, including a series record of 7 straight (which included 6 by double digits and 4 shutouts). You trail in the overall series by 23 games (65-42-4).

You're not dominating the rivalry, because you just now made it a rivalry.



3. 65-42-4. Yes, yes, Clemson has dominated this "rivalry" for decades. You are miles ahead in the win total.

But sorry, it's a what-have-you-done-for-me-lately world, an instant gratification society. Twitter isn't interested in the winning streak of 1934-40. You've had your fanny delivered to you five straight years by more than double-digits.

And until that changes, Gamecock fans will have reason to crow.



4. We're the state champions! Um...so what?

It's nice to be able to "stick it" to your rivals; but you know what you and the Head Ball Coach really want. You want--you need--that SEC title to validate all that you've accomplished since the HBC arrived. And you know that's what HE really wants to solidify that oh-so-annoying legacy. Well, annoying to half the state of South Carolina and the entire SEC, anyway.

After all, neither one of you even won your CONFERENCE in 2013...

5. We're the first team in the state to win a BCS game! Well, congratulations! You won a game in a horribly flawed (if not corrupt) system that is officially--and mercifully--headed to the trash heap. And as arrogant and annoying as it is, Gamecock fans are correct:  You are getting these chances because you're in the ACC, not the SEC. And because Duke can't muster enough fans to fill up the Orange Bowl.

You won the Orange Bowl against Ohio State and a coach that is almost as arrogant and annoying, if not as chatty, as Steve Spurrier. (And Urban "the II" Meyer has physically threatened a reporter...not sure if he got him "reassigned"). That's more than good enough.


6. ___________________ has no class! This one is just too easy.

You know that Spurrier doesn't coach anymore, don't you? He just sits in his office thinking up ways to jab Dabo and the Clemson fan base.

And then he calls up Dabo, who we know is not really coaching, and tells him what he's going to say. That gives Dabo just enough time to come up with a comeback. Or at least enough time to find someone who can think up a good comeback.

The problem is that we, as fans, take this all too seriously. And we get mad and re-tweet and paste it all over Facebook to express our outrage.

Maybe "classy" is not the right term for this situation...

There is absolutely nothing more boring to listen to than coaches talking before, during or after a football game. We scream for honesty; then, when we get it in the form of some cheap shots between coaches, we get mad and accuse coaches of having "No Class!!!"

People, this is great. We are blessed to have coaches who will at least say something interesting, sprinkled with at least a hint of what they truly think. And both coaches know exactly what they're doing when they say it.

All it does is work the fans into a frenzy, and both of these coaches are working it for all it's worth. Stop letting it drive you crazy and learn to revel in it.

Actually, forget that last statement. Keep it up, Gamecock and Tiger fanatics. It ensures that I'll have at least one entertaining blog to start each new year.

Another Big 10 (plus 2) Farce Cuts Out the FCS

Well, praise the Lord for Barry Alvarez!

The Citadel and Furman and Wofford can all fall prostrate before him and shout in adoration, "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!" Because that's exactly what Alvarez thinks of FCS opponents for his Conference of the 1%, otherwise known as the Big 10. He and his fellows athletic directors have declared that they will no longer play FCS opponents.

We'll ignore the fact that the ADs were playing video of the AppSt/Michigan game while they made this decision. Barry has saved us from the embarrassment of watching our little guys from around South Carolina from having to play the "mighty" Big 10 teams.

Thank you, Big 10, for solving a problem that wasn't a problem. Unfortunately, it could become a big problem FCS schools just trying to make budget, particularly FCS schools that are near and dear to the Palmetto State.

Small schools have been playing "money ball" against big schools for decades. The objective is a nice, fat paycheck. Mix in the occasional upset and it's not a terrible system.

Yet, writers and pundits are suddenly concerned that someone is going to get "hurt" in one of these games. I don't know of a single instance of an FCS player losing a limb or severing an artery just because their opponent had Buckeyes on the back of the helmet.

I've argued on the air on ESPN Spartanburg about these FCS schools "prostituting" themselves in this way, and I still don't get it. It gives these smaller schools a chance to play in a setting and on a level of which they normally just dream. It offers them an opportunity to play David in the Goliath passion play and see if their best may just be good enough against a big-time program.

Here's the thing:  Some fans and bloggers believe this will mean better regular-season match-ups for Big 10 schools. I dare you to check in two years for the replacement schools for these FCS games. You won't be seeing Texas or 'Bama or Southern Cal. But I'm betting you'll see a lot of Marshall and Toledo and Middle Tennessee State.

They may be FBS (artist formerly known as Division I), but does anyone think MAC Conference USA teams are that much better than Wofford or The Citadel or Furman?

There is legitimate concern around the Southern Conference that other conferences may follow suit, although this is not set in stone. Southeastern Conference schools have plenty of tough games in their own league, and certainly don't need to ramp up the schedule. Unlike the Big 10, they play real football. The ACC might be more likely, especially since they've been embarrassed more than once against the FCS. But that could create some scheduling nightmares and end some long-standing connections.

Besides, the SEC seems content with their "SoCon Challenge" each year. Here at home, both Clemson coach Dabo Swinney and South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier support the idea of continuing to play "home grown" FCS opponents. Death Valley was full last season for Clemson-Furman, so this seems like a positive arrangement (although Spurrier might prefer to leave off the option teams in the future).

Still, it could all change very quickly. There is even some rumblings that the NCAA may try to ban games between FCS and FBS. (And we all know that things can only get better when the NCAA gets involved).

No matter what some people are saying, this really isn't about these schools "prostituting" themselves or safety or fair competition or better games for season ticket holders. This is, as always, about one thing:  Money.

The Big 10 believes that it would be more profitable for them to leave FCS opponents off the schedule, and they may well be right (particularly if they have another Mountaineer Fiasco on their hands). But this is also about an ongoing desire of the BCS-level conferences to keep their money and not share it with anyone, least of all FCS.

And that's okay. FCS will be fine and continue to play a more pure brand of football that is designed for the last remaining bastion of true student-athletes in the nation. It would just be nice if people like Alvarez and his Big 10 brethren would drop the charade and just speak the truth. They may not know how many teams they have in their conference, but they know that they want every one of their schools to keep every dollar available.

That's fine. At least our FCS teams know how to count. We'd rather play real football teams in the SEC anyway.